Post by duckflesh on Jul 25, 2003 0:17:22 GMT -5
A Typical Day at the Abbey
by Duckflesh
_____________________________________________
Abbot: Why, what a beautiful day this is!
Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him:
Well, wot wot, scoff! Jolly Good! Wot wot!
Abbot: Why, yes, Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him, it is a beautiful day! And look, here comes Big-hearted-badger-mum-who-acts-stern-but-everyone-loves-her-as-well!
Big-hearted-badger-mum-who-acts-stern-but-everyone-loves-her-as-well: Stupid Hare.
Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him: Well, wot wot, scoff! Jolly Good! Wot wot!
Young-mouse-who-is-a-sword-master-and-can-kill-any-vermin-despite-having-no-training-and-the-fact-that-the-vermin-is-usually-two-to-three-times-bigger-than-him:
Why, look, I happened to stumble upon the first piece of a puzzle!
Big-hearted-badger-mum-who-acts-stern-but-everyone-loves-her-as-well: Oh? A puzzle to find what?
Young-mouse-who-is-a-sword-master-and-can-kill-any-vermin-despite-having-no-training-and-the-fact-that-the-vermin-is-usually-two-to-three-times-bigger-than-him: Something to do with Martin, I bet! You know, even though he’s been dead for two centuries now and we can’t remember exactly what it was he did, or why he went around the abbey leaving clues, I’m sure it’ll be great!
Abbot: Is it possible he was just a lunatic who had too much free time and decided to waste our time with aimless puzzles?
*awkward silence*
Otter-who-isn’t-skipper-but-acts-just-like-him-and-just-like-every-other-otter: Oh no, there’s a huge horde of vermin outside!
**The Abbot looks over the wall at the huge horde of vermin**
Abbot: What do you want?
Stoat: Huh? Well, we hadn’t really thought it through yet… we want… uh… that button!
Abbot: The one on my shirt?
Stoat: Yeah, ok.
Another-otter-who-has-a-name-very-similar-to-the-last-otter-and-of-course-acts-just-like-him-but-isn’t-him: Never! REDWALL!
Abbot: Wait, which otter are you?
Another-otter-who-has-a-name-very-similar-to-the-last-otter-and-of-course-acts-just-like-him-but-isn’t-him: I’m the one who loves hot root soup, likes boats, and uses a javelin and a sling..
Abbot: Uh, thanks, that clears it up for me. Oh, look, it’s fore-mole-who-keeps-talking-and-talking-but-no-one-can-really-understand-a-damn-thing-he-says!
Fore-mole-who-keeps-talking-and-talking-but-no-one-can-really-understand-a-damn-thing-he-says: Mhm, zurs, you’m foinden vurmints?
Abbot: …maybe he said he wants us to throw him over the wall?
Fore-mole-who-keeps-talking-and-talking-but-no-one-can-really-understand-a-damn-thing-he-says: Boi okey, Deeper’n ever pie, zurs!
**they hurl him over the wall, where a fox eats him**
Fox: hey, I just realized I’m capable of eating most of the animals in that abbey. Also, I’m bigger than them to the point were I can just step over the wall. Like so.
**steps over**
Young-mouse-who-is-a-sword-master-and-can-kill-any-vermin-despite-having-no-training-and-the-fact-that-the-vermin-is-usually-two-to-three-times-bigger-than-him: REDWALL!
**There is battle in which vermin casualties are 90%. Redwall looses one beast, probably one of those two otters from before, probably making the other otter who acts just like him very sad and causing him to increase the vermin casualty rate to 95%.**
Brian Jacques: God, I am SO out of ideas.
Abbot: You’re telling me.
Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him:
Well, wot wot, scoff! Jolly Good! Wot wot!
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Hehe, well, maybe no one else thought that was funny, but I liked writing it. Dedicated to, uh… the can of orange Crush on the desk in front of me. Thank you, can of Crush.
by Duckflesh
_____________________________________________
Abbot: Why, what a beautiful day this is!
Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him:
Well, wot wot, scoff! Jolly Good! Wot wot!
Abbot: Why, yes, Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him, it is a beautiful day! And look, here comes Big-hearted-badger-mum-who-acts-stern-but-everyone-loves-her-as-well!
Big-hearted-badger-mum-who-acts-stern-but-everyone-loves-her-as-well: Stupid Hare.
Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him: Well, wot wot, scoff! Jolly Good! Wot wot!
Young-mouse-who-is-a-sword-master-and-can-kill-any-vermin-despite-having-no-training-and-the-fact-that-the-vermin-is-usually-two-to-three-times-bigger-than-him:
Why, look, I happened to stumble upon the first piece of a puzzle!
Big-hearted-badger-mum-who-acts-stern-but-everyone-loves-her-as-well: Oh? A puzzle to find what?
Young-mouse-who-is-a-sword-master-and-can-kill-any-vermin-despite-having-no-training-and-the-fact-that-the-vermin-is-usually-two-to-three-times-bigger-than-him: Something to do with Martin, I bet! You know, even though he’s been dead for two centuries now and we can’t remember exactly what it was he did, or why he went around the abbey leaving clues, I’m sure it’ll be great!
Abbot: Is it possible he was just a lunatic who had too much free time and decided to waste our time with aimless puzzles?
*awkward silence*
Otter-who-isn’t-skipper-but-acts-just-like-him-and-just-like-every-other-otter: Oh no, there’s a huge horde of vermin outside!
**The Abbot looks over the wall at the huge horde of vermin**
Abbot: What do you want?
Stoat: Huh? Well, we hadn’t really thought it through yet… we want… uh… that button!
Abbot: The one on my shirt?
Stoat: Yeah, ok.
Another-otter-who-has-a-name-very-similar-to-the-last-otter-and-of-course-acts-just-like-him-but-isn’t-him: Never! REDWALL!
Abbot: Wait, which otter are you?
Another-otter-who-has-a-name-very-similar-to-the-last-otter-and-of-course-acts-just-like-him-but-isn’t-him: I’m the one who loves hot root soup, likes boats, and uses a javelin and a sling..
Abbot: Uh, thanks, that clears it up for me. Oh, look, it’s fore-mole-who-keeps-talking-and-talking-but-no-one-can-really-understand-a-damn-thing-he-says!
Fore-mole-who-keeps-talking-and-talking-but-no-one-can-really-understand-a-damn-thing-he-says: Mhm, zurs, you’m foinden vurmints?
Abbot: …maybe he said he wants us to throw him over the wall?
Fore-mole-who-keeps-talking-and-talking-but-no-one-can-really-understand-a-damn-thing-he-says: Boi okey, Deeper’n ever pie, zurs!
**they hurl him over the wall, where a fox eats him**
Fox: hey, I just realized I’m capable of eating most of the animals in that abbey. Also, I’m bigger than them to the point were I can just step over the wall. Like so.
**steps over**
Young-mouse-who-is-a-sword-master-and-can-kill-any-vermin-despite-having-no-training-and-the-fact-that-the-vermin-is-usually-two-to-three-times-bigger-than-him: REDWALL!
**There is battle in which vermin casualties are 90%. Redwall looses one beast, probably one of those two otters from before, probably making the other otter who acts just like him very sad and causing him to increase the vermin casualty rate to 95%.**
Brian Jacques: God, I am SO out of ideas.
Abbot: You’re telling me.
Annoying-hare-who-eats-constantly-and-everyone-yells-at-him-but-really-they-like-him:
Well, wot wot, scoff! Jolly Good! Wot wot!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hehe, well, maybe no one else thought that was funny, but I liked writing it. Dedicated to, uh… the can of orange Crush on the desk in front of me. Thank you, can of Crush.
